Required prior knowledge for this read: Trainspotting, the movie, or at least the sheets scene…..
Hey, er, is this a bit weird? My dog and I exited a friends apartment one day, strolling into the common hallway, towards the lift. Coming towards us was a young lady, pretty, very well dressed, and, carrying a messy pile of sheets. Not folded, just purchased, laundered, or removed from the linen cupboard, sheets. These guys were just stripped off the bed in a big hurry sheets.
Now, I don’t know the neighbours there, but I do know that all the apartments have a washing machine included. How do I know that? I just do. So this got me thinking… What could possibly be the reason for this behaviour? Naturally my thoughts spanned the entire spectrum of possibility.
Were they just old sheets set for the scrap heap on their way to the rubbish bin? Well, if I hadn’t followed the young lady out of the lift and into the alley way to see her throw them furtively into her car and speed off, then yes, that could have been an option
Was there an innocent explanation?
What if this lady had been the cleaning lady? Or she worked at a laundrette and it would therefore be totally reasonable to take your sheets to work.
What if it was take your sheets to work day, and I hadn’t heard about it. My sheets stayed home.
Was this some form of sperm-jacking?
What if this lady was a detective, like a DNA specialist detective trying to prove, or disprove, a paternity case, or incriminate someone in some way by using their sheet DNA? Some kind of a DNA heist . That option was the fore-runner, and my favourite until I remembered Trainspotting…
Was there something a little bit train-spotting going on?
Who can remember/who can forget that scene from trainspotting. That first sleepover where Spud meets his girlfriends parents, but is seriously intoxicated and they put him to bed in a spare room. On waking, he finds he has had a very unfortunate accident during his sleep, and, in an effort to redeem himself takes his soiled sheets downstairs having to traverse the family-filled kitchen where his girlfriends mum wrestles the sheets out of his hands simultaneously praising his good manners and showering the unsuspecting family in a shower of, well, sheet.
Was this a Trainspotting scenario…? I don’t know, there was nothing untowardly malodorous in the lift…
I do love a good story, but of course, it could have just been flo making an untimely appearance on a first sleepover, and the sheets needed to be laundered prior to boyf’s return home to save face. In which case, you go girl! We’ve all been there!