People always look normal in a photo, until you know they’re a serial killer.
I’m not making any reference to this guy, I’m just saying. When you look back you notice things differently.
Anyway, this guy, lets call him Lionel, approached me through e-Harmony. Lionel choose to skip the guided communication steps, which I find to be an awkward and protracted process of sending “must haves” and “cant stands” and particular questions with a selection of predetermined responses, obviously aimed at eliminating the desire to meet up. Acutally, despite their entire advertising campaign, I found the site aimed entirely at eliminating the desire to meet up.
His message asked if I wanted to meet for lunch. I did not. But, as it was going to be a weekday thing, during work hours, I broke my own rule.
He committed the faux pas of then asking me where to meet up. My pet peeve. Seriously. Get some balls and make a decision.
I, for some reason, generously offered a solution, identifying a venue between his office and mine.
At the assigned time, I left my desk, refreshed my lippy in the elevator, and headed over. And waited. And waited. He messaged me through the service that he was on his way. So I waited, and took a small table and ordered a green tea.
Anyway, eventually he turned up and sat down. I had already checked around to make sure I didn’t know anyone in the café from work, so I wouldn’t have to answer awkward questions later, I didn’t.
‘Well,’ Lionel starts off.
I smile politely.
‘It just took me 15 minutes to get here,’ he continues in an agitated manner, ‘which means its going to take me 15 minutes to get back, and I’m only taking 45 minute lunch breaks because I have to pick up my son twice a week because that is my arrangement with my soon to be ex-wife, and I need all the time I can get on the weekends I don’t have my kids, to find a house because I am living in a transition rental.’
Straight up. Followed closely by:
‘I have to leave my phone on because I’m waiting for a call from a real estate agent.’
The force and vitriol of his diatribe is an affront. To me, and to this quiet cafe.
I would very much like to leave without saying a word.
Awkwardly, though, at that moment my green tea is delivered.
The waitress asks him what he wants and he spits ‘I haven’t seen a menu.’ Recovers slightly, and follows up with: ‘Do you have an iced tea, or something cold?’
She nods, glances at me, and politely retreats.
This guy is rude. And clearly has issues with women. I look for a way out.
To be honest, I don’t remember speaking to him at all, although I’m sure I did, I just don’t remember what about.
All I know was I desperately wanted to get out of there.
His iced tea drink arrives and he looks at the bottle, as if he might throw it if its not correct, and he takes a drink, and becomes a new person(ality).
He apologises for his behaviour.
I don’t accept it, but I offer ‘you’re clearly stressed by your current situation.’
Implying, that perhaps you are not ready to date, and you should be focussing on finalising other matters before trying to move in to something else.
‘Yes, yes’. He mutters, he doesn’t really seem apologetic in his demeanour and then his phone rings.
‘Look, I might go..’ I start off.
‘Just hang on, I’ll just get this, its my agent.’ And he goes outside, leaving his bottle, and untouched glass of ice, on the table.
I fish around in my wallet for some coins, an appropriate amount for a cup of green tea and deposit it on the table.
After about maybe 5 minutes he walks back in. Before he sits down, I get up and say I have to go.
His hand rests on the back of his chair, and he claims ‘oh yeah, I was just going to say, I have to get going.’
And I walk out. I don’t look back. What a jerk. For wasting my time. He is clearly not ready to date, or to talk to people.
Later, sitting in a meeting desk at work, I realise I haven’t had anything to eat and I’m starving.
Later still I go out and get some take away sushi, while I’m walking there I block contact with him through the site. He was a jerk, but he looked normal in his photo.