Consolation: follow the link to the free online dictionary http://www.thefreedictionary.com/consolation.
Celebrating an 0 birthday recently meant another occasion to enjoy a favourite cake. This year however, I had decided to make it myself, and save paying exorbitant cake shop fees.
This was going well, having made all but the ganache (cream and chocolate) centre prior to heading out with my favourite people to eat. Intending to come home and let them eat cake, with me.
I didn’t give the cake finalising process a second thought as I shared a lovely meal and we were much entertained by the well-travelled and kinda sexy waiter.
On arrival back home I flitted into the kitchen to prepare dessert and set the Kitchenaid to the task of whipping the Pauls light cream, while I melted and cooled the chocolate.
Half an hour later I figured something was wrong as, having previously whipped cream by hand and not having it take this long, I realised this light ‘whip, cook or pour’ cream may have been light, pourable and cookable, but it was not whippable and I was whipped into an anxiety frenzy at this point.
My much loved darling sister saved the day by heading to a late night service station and buying a giant container of full-fat cream.
This bad-boy whipped up in minutes and dessert was saved, and eaten with much enthusiasm.
This disappointment turned to frustration when I rang Pauls a few days later to express my concern, only to be advised that they were in the process of relabeling these products as they are not in-fact whippable. So much so that the customer service representative was able to cut me off mid-criticism to finish my complaint for me. They knew! They knew before I bought my product that it did not fulfil its stated purpose. They knew before they packaged it and sent it to the shop that they were going to make me cry on my birthday, and they did nothing to prevent it.
What they did offer me, to void all sadness, frustration and inconvenience, for mucking up a once in a lifetime birthday was a $10 voucher.
Beyond my stifled laughter, it was my intention, as always, to be articulate and concise with the representative of a company who’s product had failed to do the job it advertised. (I think its good to have aspirations). But, also as always – or at least too frequently – I had a blog moment. I was trying to say that is really of little consolation for the inconvenience compounded by the prior knowledge Pauls possessed, and chose not to share, about this product.
What I actually mumbled out was: ‘it’s of ill-consequence, umm, cold comfort, small reprieve…’ then I managed to stop myself before offering another inept replacement – (which was going to be: poor substitute)… then my brain kicked in, and I realised what I was meaning to say was ‘I understand if that is your standard policy position, however it’s of little consolation to me at this point.’
That’s right, I got there in the end.
The moral of this story is, of course, don’t try to save calories buying light cream if you need it to whip, go full fat – you can totes whip-it every time!
Whip it good!